‘No Peace, no piece’-- An alliance of women has taken control of the acropolis, demanding
that the men put an end to the war. They refuse to have sexual relations (or allow access
to the acropolis) until peace is agreed. Here the ‘Magistrate’ (one of the 10 probouloi who
now oversee Athenian affairs) has come to draw money from the treasury (to keep up the fleet).
He encounters
the leader of the women’s resistance movement, led by Lysistrata.
Proboulos/Magistrate’s complaint: Women are drunken troublemakers,
typically
using their religious gatherings for disruptive behavior
(e.g.
Demostratus drowned out by ‘Woe for Adonis’)
Promiscuous creatures--but
we men enable them, sending artisans to service them.
*****
[excerpted
from Lindsay's translation]
MAGISTRATE enters with
attendant SCYTHIANS.
MAGISTRATE
Have the luxurious rites of
the women glittered
Their libertine show, their
drumming tapped out crowds,
The Sabazian Mysteries
summoned their mob,
Adonis been wept to death on
the terraces,
As I could hear the last day
in the Assembly?
For Demostratus—let bad luck
befoul him—
Was roaring, “We must sail
for Sicily,”
While a woman, throwing
herself about in a dance
Lopsided with drink, was
shrilling out “Adonis,
Woe for Adonis.” Then
Demostratus shouted,
“We must levy hoplites at
Zacynthus,”
And there the woman, up to
the ears in wine,
Was screaming “Weep for
Adonis” on the house-top,
The scoundrelly politician,
that lunatic ox,
Bellowing bad advice through
tipsy shrieks:
Such are the follies
wantoning in them.
MEN
O if you knew their full
effrontery!
All of the insults they've
done, besides sousing us
With water from their pots to
our public disgrace
For we stand here wringing
our clothes like grown-up infants.
MAGISTRATE
By Poseidon, justly done! For
in part with us
The blame must lie for
dissolute behaviour
And for the pampered
appetites they learn.
Thus grows the seedling lust
to blossoming:
We go into a shop and say,
“Here, goldsmith,
You remember the necklace
that you wrought my wife;
Well, the other night in
fervour of a dance
Her clasp broke open. Now I'm
off for Salamis;
If you've the leisure, would
you go tonight
And stick a bolt-pin into her
opened clasp.”
Another goes to a cobbler; a
soldierly fellow,
Always standing up erect, and
says to him,
“Cobbler, a sandal-strap of
my wife's pinches her,
Hurts her little toe in a
place where she's sensitive.
Come at noon and see if you
can stretch out wider
This thing that troubles her,
loosen its tightness.”
And so you view the result.
Observe my case—
I, a magistrate, come here to
draw
Money to buy oar-blades, and
what happens?
The women slam the door full
in my face.
But standing still's no use.
Bring me a crowbar,
And I'll chastise this their
impertinence.
What do you gape at, wretch,
with dazzled eyes?
Peering for a tavern, I
suppose.
Come, force the gates with
crowbars, prise them apart!
I'll prise away myself
too....
(LYSISTRATA appears.)
LYSISTRATA
Stop this banging.
I'm coming of my own
accord.... Why bars?
It is not bars we need but
common sense.
MAGISTRATE
Indeed, you slut! Where is
the archer now?
Arrest this woman, tie her
hands behind.
LYSISTRATA
If he brushes me with a
finger, by Artemis,
The public menial, he'll be sorry
for it.
MAGISTRATE
Are you afraid? Grab her
about the middle.
Two of you then, lay hands on
her and end it.
CALONICE
By Pandrosos I if your hand
touches her
I'll spread you out and
trample on your guts.
MAGISTRATE
My guts! Where is the other
archer gone?
Bind that minx there who
talks so prettily.
MYRRHINE
By Phosphor, if your hand
moves out her way
You'd better have a surgeon
somewhere handy.
MAGISTRATE
You too! Where is that
archer? Take that woman.
I'll put a stop to these
surprise-parties.
STRATYLLIS
By the Tauric Artemis, one
inch nearer
My fingers, and it's a bald
man that'll be yelling.
MAGISTRATE
Tut tut, what's here?
Deserted by my archers....
But surely women never can
defeat us;
Close up your ranks, my
Scythians. Forward at them.
LYSISTRATA
By the Goddesses, you'll find
that here await you
Four companies of most
pugnacious women
Armed cap-a-pie from the
topmost louring curl
To the lowest angry dimple.
MAGISTRATE
On, Scythians, bind them.
LYSISTRATA
On, gallant allies of our
high design,
Vendors of
grain-eggs-pulse-and-vegetables,
Ye garlic-tavern-keepers of
bakeries,
Strike, batter, knock, hit,
slap, and scratch our foes,
Be finely imprudent, say what
you think of them....
Enough! retire and do not rob
the dead.
MAGISTRATE
How basely did my
archer-force come off.
LYSISTRATA
Ah, ha, you thought it was a
herd of slaves
You had to tackle, and you
didn't guess
The thirst for glory ardent
in our blood.
MAGISTRATE
By Apollo, I know well the
thirst that heats you—
Especially when a wine-skin's
close.
MEN
You waste your breath, dear
magistrate, I fear, in answering back.
What's the good of argument
with such a rampageous pack?
Remember how they washed us
down (these very clothes I wore)
With water that looked nasty
and that smelt so even more.
WOMEN
What else to do, since you
advanced too dangerously nigh.
If you should do the same
again, I'll punch you in the eye.
Though I'm a stay-at-home and
most a quiet life enjoy,
Polite to all and every (for
I'm naturally coy),
Still if you wake a wasps'
nest then of wasps you must beware.
MEN
How may this ferocity be
tamed? It grows too great to bear.
Let us question them and find
if they'll perchance declare
The reason why they strangely
dare
To seize on Cranaos' citadel,
This eyrie inaccessible,
This shrine above the
precipice,
The Acropolis.
Probe them and find what they
mean with this idle talk; listen,
but watch they don't try to
deceive.
You'd be neglecting your duty
most certainly if now this mystery
unplumbed you leave.
MAGISTRATE
Women there! Tell what I ask
you, directly....
Come, without rambling, I
wish you to state
What's your rebellious
intention in barring up thus on our noses
our own temple-gate.
LYSISTRATA
To take first the treasury
out of your management, and so stop the war
through the absence of gold.
MAGISTRATE
Is gold then the cause of the
war?
LYSISTRATA
Yes, gold caused it and
miseries more, too many to be told.
'Twas for money, and money
alone, that Pisander with all of the army of
mob-agitators.
Raised up revolutions. But,
as for the future, it won't be worth while
to set up to be traitors.
Not an obol they'll get as
their loot, not an obol! while we have the
treasure-chest in our
command.
MAGISTRATE
What then is that you
propose?
LYSISTRATA
Just this—merely to take the
exchequer henceforth in hand.
MAGISTRATE
The exchequer!
LYSISTRATA
Yes, why not? Of our
capabilities you have had various clear evidences.
Firstly remember we have
always administered soundly the budget of all
home-expenses.
MAGISTRATE
But this matter's different.
LYSISTRATA
How is it different?
MAGISTRATE
Why, it deals chiefly with
war-time supplies.
LYSISTRATA
But we abolish war straight
by our policy.
MAGISTRATE
What will you do if
emergencies arise?
LYSISTRATA
Face them our own way.
MAGISTRATE
What you will?
LYSISTRATA
Yes we will!
MAGISTRATE
Then there's no help for it;
we're all destoryed.
LYSISTRATA
No, willy-nilly you must be
safeguarded.
MAGISTRATE
What madness is this?
LYSISTRATA
Why, it seems you're annoyed.
It must be done, that's all.
MAGISTRATE
Such awful oppression never,
O never in the past yet I
bore.
LYSISTRATA
You must be saved,
sirrah—that's all there is to it.
MAGISTRATE
If we don't want to be saved?
LYSISTRATA
All the more.
MAGISTRATE
Why do you women come prying
and meddling in matters of state touching
war-time and peace?
LYSISTRATA
That I will tell you.
MAGISTRATE
O tell me or quickly I'll—
LYSISTRATA
Hearken awhile and from
threatening cease.
MAGISTRATE
I cannot, I cannot; it's
growing too insolent.
WOMEN
Come on; you've far more than
we have to dread.
MAGISTRATE
Stop from your croaking, old
carrion-crow there....
Continue
LYSISTRATA
Be calm then and I'll go
ahead.
All the long years when the hopeless
war dragged along we, unassuming, forgotten in quiet,
Endured without question,
endured in our loneliness all your incessant child's antics and riot.
Our lips we kept tied, though
aching with silence, though well all the while in our silence we knew
How wretchedly everything
still was progressing by listening dumbly the day long to you.
For always at home you
continued discussing the war and its politics loudly, and we
Sometimes would ask you, our
hearts deep with sorrowing though we spoke lightly, though happy to see,
“What's to be inscribed on
the side of the Treaty-stone
What, dear, was said in the
Assembly today?”
“Mind your own business,”
he'd answer me growlingly
“hold your tongue, woman, or
else go away.”
And so I would hold it.
WOMEN
I'd not be silent for any man
living on earth, no, not I!
MAGISTRATE
Not for a staff?
LYSISTRATA
Well, so I did nothing but
sit in the house, feeling dreary, and sigh,
While ever arrived some fresh
tale of decisions more foolish by far and presaging disaster.
Then I would say to him, “O
my dear husband, why still do they rush on destruction the faster?”
At which he would look at me
sideways, exclaiming, “Keep for your web and your shuttle your care,
Or for some hours hence your
cheeks will be sore and hot; leave this alone, war is Man's sole affair!”
MAGISTRATE
By Zeus, but a man of fine
sense, he.
LYSISTRATA
How sensible?
You dotard, because he at no
time had lent
His intractible ears to
absorb from our counsel one temperate word of advice, kindly meant?
But when at the last in the
streets we heard shouted (everywhere ringing the ominous cry)
“Is there no one to help us,
no saviour in Athens?” and, “No, there is no one,” come back in reply.
At once a convention of all
wives through Hellas here for a serious purpose was held,
To determine how husbands
might yet back to wisdom despite their reluctance in time be compelled.
Why then delay any longer?
It's settled. For the future you'll take up our old occupation.
Now in turn you're to hold
tongue, as we did, and listen while we show the way to recover the nation.
MAGISTRATE
You talk to us! Why, you're
mad. I'll not stand it.
LYSISTRATA
Cease babbling, you fool;
till I end, hold your tongue.
MAGISTRATE
If I should take orders from
one who wears veils, may my
neck straightaway be
deservedly wrung.
LYSISTRATA
O if that keeps pestering
you,
I've a veil here for your
hair,
I'll fit you out in
everything
As is only fair.
CALONICE
Here's a spindle that will
do.
MYRRHINE
I'll add a wool-basket too.
LYSISTRATA
Girdled now sit humbly at
home,
Munching beans, while you
card wool and comb. For war from now on is the Women's affair.
WOMEN.
Come then, down pitchers,
all,
And on, courageous of heart,
In our comradely venture
Each taking her due part.
I could dance, dance, dance,
and be fresher after,
I could dance away numberless
suns,
To no weariness let my knees
bend.
Earth I could brave with
laughter,
Having such wonderful girls
here to friend.
O the daring, the gracious,
the beautiful ones!
Their courage unswerving and
witty
Will rescue our city.
O sprung from the seed of
most valiant-wombed grand-
mothers, scions of savage and
dangerous nettles!
Prepare for the battle, all.
Gird up your angers. Our way
the wind of sweet victory
settles.
LYSISTRATA
O tender Eros and Lady of
Cyprus, some flush of beauty I
pray you devise
To flash on our bosoms and, O
Aphrodite, rosily gleam on
our valorous thighs!
Joy will raise up its head
through the legions warring and
all of the far-serried ranks
of mad-love
Bristle the earth to the
pillared horizon, pointing in vain to the heavens above.
I think that perhaps then
they'll give us our title—
Peace-makers.
MAGISTRATE
What do you mean? Please explain.
LYSISTRATA
First, we'll not see you now flourishing
arms about into the Marketing-place
clang again.
WOMEN
No, by the Paphian (Aphrodite).
LYSISTRATA
Still I can conjure them as
past were the herbs stand or crockery's sold
Like Corybants jingling (poor
sots) fully armoured, they noisily round on their promenade strolled.
MAGISTRATE
And rightly; that's
discipline, they—
LYSISTRATA
But what's sillier than to go
on an errand of buying a fish
Carrying along an immense.
Gorgon-buckler instead the usual platter or dish?
A phylarch I lately saw, mounted
on horse-back,
dressed for the part with
long ringlets and all,
Stow in his helmet the omelet
bought steaming from an old woman who kept a food-stall.
Nearby a soldier, a Thracian,
was shaking wildly his spear like Tereus in the play,
To frighten a fig-girl while
unseen the ruffian filched from her fruit-trays the ripest away.
MAGISTRATE
How, may I ask, will your
rule re-establish order and justice in lands so tormented?
LYSISTRATA
Nothing is easier.
MAGISTRATE
Out with it speedily—what is
this plan that you boast you've invented?
LYSISTRATA
If, when yarn we are winding,
It chances to tangle, then, as perchance you may know, through the skein
This way and that still the
spool we keep passing till it is finally clear all again:
So to untangle the War and
its errors, ambassadors out on all sides we will send
This way and that, here,
there and round about—soon you will find that the
War has an end.
MAGISTRATE
So with these trivial tricks
of the household, domestic analogies of
threads, skeins and spools,
You think that you'll solve
such a bitter complexity, unwind such political
problems, you fools!
LYSISTRATA
Well, first as we wash dirty
wool so's to cleanse it, so with a pitiless zeal we will scrub
Through the whole city for all
greasy fellows; burrs too, the parasites, off we will rub.
That verminous plague of
insensate place-seekers soon between thumb and forefinger we'll crack.
All who inside Athens' walls
have their dwelling into one great common basket we'll pack.
Disenfranchised or citizens,
allies or aliens, pell-mell the lot of them in we will squeeze.
Till they discover humanity's
meaning.... As for disjointed and far colonies,
Them you must never from this
time imagine as scattered about just like lost hanks of wool.
Each portion we'll take and
wind in to this centre, inward to Athens each loyalty pull,
Till from the vast heap where
all's piled together at last can be woven a strong Cloak of State.
MAGISTRATE
How terrible is it to stand
here and watch them carding and winding at will with our fate,
Witless in war as they are.
LYSISTRATA
What of us then, who ever in
vain for our children must weep
Borne but to perish afar and
in vain?
MAGISTRATE
Not that, O let that one
memory sleep!
LYSISTRATA
Then while we should be
companioned still merrily, happy as brides may, the livelong night,
Kissing youth by, we are
forced to lie single.... But leave for a moment our pitiful plight,
It hurts even more to behold
the poor maidens helpless wrinkling in staler virginity.
MAGISTRATE
Does not a man age?
LYSISTRATA
Not in the same way. Not as a
woman grows withered, grows he.
He, when returned from the
war, though grey-headed, yet
if he wishes can choose out a
wife.
But she has no solace save peering
for omens, wretched and lonely the rest of her life.
MAGISTRATE
But the old man will often
select—
LYSISTRATA
O why not finish and die?
A bier is easy to buy,
A honey-cake I'll knead you
with joy,
This garland will see you are
decked.
CALONICE
I've a wreath for you too.
MYRRHINE
I also will fillet you.
LYSISTRATA
What more is lacking? Step
aboard the boat.
See, Charon shouts ahoy.
You're keeping him, he wants
to shove afloat.
MAGISTRATE
Outrageous insults! Thus my
place to flout!
Now to my fellow-magistrates
I'll go
And what you've perpetrated
on me show.
LYSISTRATA
Why are you blaming us for
laying you out?
Assure yourself we'll not
forget to make
The third day offering early
for your sake.
(MAGISTRATE retires,
LYSISTRATA returns within)